Key Takeaways:
- Learn to say “no” and set limits to stay sane
- Be all in with family time to make memories and feel fulfilled
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a hand
- Make time for hobbies to stay okay
Being a dad is one of life’s greatest joys, but it’s also one of its most demanding roles. From sleepless nights and changing diapers to work responsibilities and raising the kids, we find ourselves juggling endless duties.
We strive to be the best parents we can, but in the middle of this chaos, it’s easy for us dads to hit a wall.
So, in this article, I won’t waste your time by explaining what dad burnout is (you know it all too well). Instead, we’ll jump straight into how to manage it.
Set Boundaries
Like moms, dads often feel pressure to do it all. But you need to understand that it’s okay to say “no” and set boundaries.
It’s natural for dads to want to do everything. To be the provider, the caregiver, and the fixer. But spreading yourself too thin can result in burnout.
That’s why setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish. It’s about self-preservation. By setting boundaries, you protect your physical, mental, and emotional health.
You recognize that there are only so many hours in a day and only so much energy.
So, here are some tips that I learned along the way:
- Express concerns and discuss expectations with your family
- Schedule regular “me time” into your calendar
- Delegate household tasks and childcare responsibilities to other family members
- Establish clear boundaries between work and personal life
Of course, these shouldn’t be done at the expense of your partner and others. Ideally, responsibilities should be spread out equally.
You don’t want to aggravate your partner even more, do you? Moms are under a lot of pressure, too, of course.
Be Present
Being more present is a great way for dads to handle stress and avoid burning out. When I focus on being there in the moment with my wife and son, it helps me connect better, and I feel the relationship is growing stronger.
It’s also much easier to create lasting memories. I don’t want my son to remember me as a bearded man who spends all his time on the phone.
Being more present means really getting into playing with your kids, having those deep talks with your partner, or just chilling out together.
It helps you recharge emotionally and feel happier about being a dad. You also won’t look back at this period as a time of missed opportunities.
Find Joy in Small Moments
Sometimes, it’s the little things that can make a big difference in our daily lives. For example, sharing a joke with your kid, enjoying a cozy family movie night, or going to the park or beach.
By focusing on these moments of joy, you can shift your perspective away from stress and develop a sense of appreciation for the good things in life.
I find that by finding joy in small moments, I stay positive, more resilient, and ready to take on whatever comes my way.
But what really helped me with this was guided meditation. Now, don’t you dare click away!
What guided meditation did for me was it helped me stay grounded, helped me calm my mind, and reduce the stress and anxiety that come with being a dad.
Before trying it, I had a hard time just relaxing and playing with my son. My mind was always racing and mostly thinking about work.
And if you want to try meditation yourself or learn more about how to handle stress and anxiety, yes, there’s an app for that. It can help you relax and deal with anxiety head-on.
Ask For Help
You know, I always thought asking someone to help me out was a defeat. I wanted to do everything by myself. I felt like I was strong enough and capable enough to do everything without any help.
Until I wasn’t, and I realized I was being a hardass for no reason.
Look, we all have our limits, and there’s no shame in reaching out for support when we need it. We think we’ll burden others, but often, the opposite is true. They want to help us.
So, whether it’s asking my partner to take over bedtime duty so I can have a moment to recharge, getting advice from fellow dads who’ve been there, or even just venting to a friend over a cup of coffee.
I’ve come to realize that leaning on others doesn’t make me weak – it makes me human.
Don’t Neglect The Things You Love Doing (Outside of Family)
One of the biggest mistakes many dads (and moms, of course) make is to give up doing anything that isn’t directly connected to work or parenting.
I mean, it’s all too easy for dads to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of work and parenting, forgetting to make time for the things they love doing outside of family responsibilities.
But hobbies and activities, such as exercising, having a drink with friends, and tinkering in the garage, are important and help us avoid burnout.
Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary to preserve a sense of identity and fulfillment outside of your family, right?
You want to be an example for your kids. They need to see you do things other than watch TV and scroll on your phone.
And lastly, here are some experiences from regular dads I found on Reddit. I think they’ll really resonate with many dads.
I just feel like I’m stuck in this cycle of routine nothingness; walking around like a zombie my whole life, mindlessly taking him to therapy appointments, cooking dinner, fighting naps for hours in the afternoon, etc. We don’t have any help, my wife’s parents are nowhere to be found, my mother could care less to even visit because “she’s finally enjoying her life,”; the only one that will help is my father, but the dude often works 13 days in a row so we feel bad asking him.
Affectionate-Wall-23
In laws come over to assist, but only for 3 hours once a week. And sure it’s a nice break to try to pick up some odd work jobs or secretly play something, the burnout is still prevailing. Child care is also too pricey that any actual job I pick up would have to be at least $40k right off the bat.
I agree though. My fuse has been short as well, especially when there’s something productive to be done or an everyday necessity like a shower and you can’t get that time.
DefinitelyNotADave
